It happened again...

Damn you Jeff Bilodeau. This was supposed to be my first day clean and sober, kicking the habit, getting that damn monkey off my back. That delicious monkey. But Jeff wouldn't let me. He told me I can't stop now. And fuck if he wasn't right.

I stopped at a place on the way home, a place I'd been to before. A place I remember having liked. Or at least thought was decent. Saguaro's on 30th in North Park. I'd been here somewhere in my first 20 days or so I think.

They serve their California burrito with pico only, but now that I was no longer bound by the pointless rules of my own make-believe program I was free to make changes. Put some sour cream on that bitch, amiga!

The addition of sour, plus the .35¢ fee for using a credit card had jacked the price of my precious to $7. On top of that, I had forgotten they use potato chunks, not fries. It was a bit of a letdown. I can't let it end on a down note, not after all the effort I put into it. Besides, I'm kind of afraid to quit now. I think my body's grown dependent on them.

RELAPSE!!!

This evening I found myself near SDSU. And if you've been paying attention you know that one of the best California burritos ever is nearby, at a shop called Trujillo's. What kind of Californian would I be if I didn't stop and get one?

To my complete lack of surprise, it was motherfucking delicious. They don't even use guac or sour- which if I had remembered I would have requested. Just pico. And it's STILL a top 5 Cali burrito, if not the best.

What's that? The color on that photo is a bit off, making the Orange Bang appear pink in color? Well that's because it is pink! That's right, Strawberry Bang, bitches! Some things are not meant to be strawberry flavored- I'm talking to you, Quik bunny- but this is effing amazing. It's no Orange Bang, but it's freaking tasty. Well done, beverage scientists, you continue to impress me.

Now that the pressure of constantly finding new places is off I can just relax and enjoy the food. Hit me up if you want to go on a burrito run.

Day 90- the circle is complete

Final day. I can't believe I actually made it through. And I really can't believe that I still find California burritos as delicious as the first day I had one. How's that for dedication?

I had a lot of options for day 90. I still had a long list of places I hadn't hit yet. Two in PB, 4 or 5 down south, some north county inland. Not only that, but earlier tonight my fellow comic Damien Pruitt looked up "taco shops" in San Diego on Yelp and got 405 results. Clearly there's still a shit-ton of places for me to try. So what would be a fitting end to this journey? With so many choices, there's really only one that makes sense.
El Zarape. Bring it back full circle to the place that started it all. Not only is it the only choice that makes sense, it also gives me a chance to really compare El Zarape's California burrito to everything else I've tried. As the first one I ever had, I had no frame of reference. No California burrito barometer to really judge it against. And days 2 and 3 were underwhelming, so El Zarape seemed even more amazing by that comparison. I had to see if it truly held up.

Accompanying me on the swan song of my odyssey were comics Rajan Dharni and Jasyn Brackett. We just left another great show at Live Comedy Live and were mere yards away from where it all began. I ordered my California burrito and took the exact same seat, at the same table, from Day 1. Holy shit was it delicious. They serve it with everything... and it is awesome. I would definitely call it a Top 10.

I guess I was pretty lucky that I had started here. If I had my first Cali burrito at a crappy place B90X may never have been born. And my colon would have thanked me. But El Zarape and their delicious food of the Gods set the wheels in motion on an amazing adventure that has touched the lives of many people. Or at least a few. One? Whatever, it's been fun. Thanks for tagging along.

Day 89- Salsa Brava

I was actually on my way to a different taco shop when I saw this one on El Cajon. A small, run-down looking place. I'm a sucker for those. So I decided to stop here instead.

I speak very little espanol, but managed to have an in-depth conversation with the woman there about their credit card machine and what we need to do to make it work (since my card didn't go through the first time). Thank you every restaurant job I've had.
They have a fantastic California burrito here, with one major flaw. Anyone who's been reading this blog regularly (aside from having too much free time) knows that at this point I'm pretty much looking for reasons to not recommend a place; there's just too many. Salsa Bravo has an almost world-class California burrito. They have the crispiest fries ever, which counts for a lot. They use guac and sour, and plenty of cheese. But the carne asada is kind of gristly. And that is a big 'no me gusta.'

So on we go to the final day, and a fond farewell to this pointless journey.

Day 88- Taco Surf

Taco Surf is a little shop in PB, and it's been recommended to me by a couple of people now. Normally I stay away from PB, but I figured I might as well give it a try. Like most things in PB, it disappoints.

It was pretty busy, but in trendy kind of way. Not in a holy shit this is awesome kind of way. It's expensive, too. $7. They serve it with guac and sour, but they use hash browns instead of fries. In all fairness, the hash browns are fantastic; super crispy. And the carne asada is great too. Overall it's a great fucking burrito. It's just not a great California burrito. Because hash browns- no matter how good- are no substitute for fries. And I'm pretty sure I said "Can I get a California burrito," not "Can I get a breakfast burrito, but hold the eggs. And could you charge me a couple bucks extra?"

I was stoked they had Orange Bang, but I'd say pass on their Cali burrito.

Day 87- El Sabroso and the EPIC FAIL

I think this El Sabroso is unrelated the one I hit before. I think it actually has 2 names, which is kind of weird; the other being Lucy's. Never noticed it, even though I've driven by it many times on my way home from Bar 11 comedy on Wednesday nights- an amazing comedy show hosted by Nick Crosby, if you haven't checked it out yet.Anyway, El Sabroso most likely has a fantastic California burrito. Their carne asada is great, they use all 3 toppings, there's plenty of cheese, it's relatively fast, not too expensive... however, I can't be sure how great their Cali burrito is. Because they didn't put ANY FUCKING FRIES in it!!!

It's 50/50 if I eat the Cali burrito in my car while I drive away. This particular night I did not or I likely could have corrected the error. WTF, Sabroso? The nice lady at the counter even asked me twice, "California burrito, si?" To which I replied- both times- "Si." So as much as I'd love to say the Cali burrito here is awesome, I can't.

Day 86- Valentine's

Found this place downtown, late on a Thursday night. Only a few days left of B90X, and I've been debating whether to keep going with new shops or use the last few days to re-try my favorites and see if they hold up. Not really enough time left for that, though.Valentine's has a really good California burrito. Possibly even a top-10. I was expecting a letdown for several reasons: it was $7, the service is slow as shit, and they don't even know what Orange Bang is. But their burrito is effing delicious. Great carne asada, great fries, pico, guac... sooooo good. I'd say it might be a little salty for some, but awesome nevertheless.

I was surprised to find such a great California burrito this late in the game. Figured I'd just be coasting these last few days. Thanks, Valentine's, for proving me wrong.

Day 85- Diego's

I went way inland for this one. After a grueling Muay Thai session, I headed out to a spot that Google maps had assured me was the location of a taco shop. They got it right, technically. It wasn't the one they said it would be, but it was a taco shop. A brand new one, actually.

Diego's has a pretty good California burrito (but sadly, no Orange Bang). They serve it loaded, although it is far from fast. I was the only customer they had and it still took a while for them to whip it up. And it is ungodly hot in that place. Holy fuck, it's like you're standing on the grill. But like I said, a good meal.

So if you find yourself in the Mission Gorge/Mission Trails area, do two things. First, ask yourself "What the fuck am I doing way out here in the middle of nowhere?" Second, stop by Diego's and have a California burrito. BYOOB.

Day 84- Aiberto's

Yes, another fucking "berto's." Located on University, just East of the 15, it's a run-down looking little shack. Cash-only is kind of a pain in the ass, but it's the price one pays for B90X.

Their California burrito is served fast and cheap, but with only pico. As you can imagine, I found it to be pretty bland. Not a great California burrito by any stretch.

But more concerning to me than the proliferation of substandard Cali burritos is the drought of Orange Bang I'm currently experiencing. Seriously, I haven't had an Orange Bang with my Cali burrito in a while. And I ask at every place. They should all have Orange Bang. In fact, California burritos should always be served with an Orange Bang automatically. Shit is delicious! It's like drinking diabetes. Or something.

Day 83- Alanberto's

Another taco shop brought to you by the Google-powered 'taco shop quest.' I was headed for a late-night California burrito at a place near college area called Gualberto's, but I guess those sissies close before 1AM.

I ended up a couple blocks down the road at Alanberto's. And by the way- how many fucking"-bertos" are there in this town? I would think they'd run out of variations, but not so.

The California burrito here is good. It's cheap, which always helps, and relatively quick. I was all set to write about this pace being slow as fuck, since I sat in the drive through for about 18 minutes. But it seems that delay was caused by the guy 2 cars ahead of me. I don't know what the hell he ordered, but once he was gone with his dolphin burrito or whatever, the car in front of me and myself got in and out of there like... I don't know, something fast.

So, not a great California burrito, but it'll work.

Day 82- Hard Rock Cafe

*Apologies to Jiavani Linayao, whose outrage at my shitty choice of taco shops is justified by her admission that her 3 favorite places are Lucha Libre, El Zarape, and Livingston's. ;) *

Yeah, that's right- Hard Rock Cafe. I was meeting a bunch of friends after the last day of Comicon, and this is where we met. I had intended to not eat and just grab a burrito after, but then the server came over and gave us his spiel.

He said that Hard Rock had invented a California burrito burger, and that it was pattented or copyrighted or exclusive, something to that effect. He also claimed it's either the most popular or best selling burger in the country. I'm paraphrasing but that is, no shit, what he said. I would guess he's never heard of this place called Mc-something or other. They have this burger called a Big Mac, which- while probably not great- I'm fairly certain is more popluar and better selling than anything else on Earth.The burger was OK. Not that great, barely good even. It's served loaded, but they use some kind of weird seasoning on the burger patty. The flavor is just odd. The California burrito is basically an Americanization of a Mexican dish, and this burger is the Americanization of an Americanization. It's a weird, unnecessary alteration, liked colorized movies. If you're at a Hard Rock, I'd almost suggest ordering it just for the WTF factor.

Day 81- Mr Burro

A shop I stumbled upon during a now-routine taco shop quest. I'll find a place via Google, and when I get there it either doesn't exist or it's closed at some retarded hour. Don't tell Jane Lynch I said that.

Mr Burro is in the same plaza as McGregor's, which if you haven't been there is an awesome bar. They were just getting ready to close when I arrived, but were happy to fix me up with a California burrito. You can get it regular for $5, or deluxe for $7, which is what I got. I prefer it loaded if given a choice.
A $7 burrito had better be pretty effing good. Like, cupping the balls good. That's setting the bar high, and usually setting yourself up for failure. Their California burrito was tasty, but not worth that price. It was loosely wrapped, making it hard to eat, and the carne asada was a bit chewy. So not a bad burrito, but there's definitely better for cheaper.

Day 80- Rojelio's

Another shop in the college area, where I've come to expect good California burrito's for cheap. And for the most part that's what you'll find here. With few exceptions.

Rojelio's definitely fits the pattern. They are cheap and fast. And their California burrito is served with guac and sour. It's pretty basic, but it's a good burrito. If you're in the area it's worth a visit.

The funny thing is that as I was on my way here, I was thinking about how sick I am of this whole B90X thing. The hassle of finding new shops and posting reviews. Which I obviously don't have to do; I do it because I want to.

But even in the midst of this struggle, this battle with B90X fatigue, my true colors would shine through. As soon as I had that burrito in my hand I could not wait to devour it. This shit is still the best food ever. I don't think I've ever eaten one thing for 80 days in a row. That's a true testament to the perfection of the California burrito.

Day 79- Bravo's

Today begins Comicon, the main reason that I fell so far behind on this blog. After a full day of nerd vacation, I took my friend Jesse- who was visiting from LA- to try a California burrito. For some reason this is really just a San Diego thing. I have several friends in LA who say they can't find one anywhere. Add that to the list "Reasons San Diego is fucking awesome."

This was a classic taco shop: cheap, fast, and located in a shady neighborhood. While we were waiting for our food, two cop cars went screaming past in full pursuit of something. No idea where they were headed but they were on a mission.

Their California burrito was a bit of a letdown, though. They serve it with pico only, and the carne asada is kind of dry. Onward we go.

Day 78- El Rodeo

Again, not to be confused with a previous visit- L Rodeo in OB. This one is on Waring road, a little north of college area.

The staff is really cool, the service is fast, and the California burrito is served loaded. Even the fries were really good. But for some reason the burrito as a whole was just OK. It's about average so it won't disappoint you, but don't go out of your way for this one.

Day 77- Gallego's

As I wind down this amazing journey, I find that I'm encountering more "meh" California burritos than really good ones. Gallego's definitely falls into the former category
Located just a block away from the Comedy Palace, I was hoping to find a great California burrito here. Having a good stop so close to a comedy club is always a plus. But it was not to be. The pico was too.. I don't know, oniony? It had a weird flavor to it. The carne asada was a bit chewy, kind of tough, like steak. And they went pretty light on the cheese and sour cream. Overall I'd say pass on this one.

Day 76- Nico's #7

Not to be confused with Nico's in OB, although for some reason they both sport a chicken as their mascot. This Nico's is world's away from the one that is a current top-5.









They have a horrible storefront-which isn't always an indicator of quality, but in this case it's pretty accurate. It's not a terrible California burrito, but at $7 it's not great. They serve it with only sour cream, which I still think is a travesty. A true California burrito, in my opinion, should be served with everything. Or at the very least, 2 toppings.

Interesting side note on this one- I had a massive headache, to the point where once my shift at the bank was over I wanted simply to grab my burrito and go home. No comedy at Winston's tonight for me. But- and I'm not making this up- after about 2 bites, my headache drastically decreased. I decided to go do comedy, and I had a great time. Has the California burrito become my spinach? Or (if you're more into Superman than Popeye) my yellow sun? Hmmm...

Day 75- Nolberto's

SD comic Dewey Bratcher gave me a brilliant idea, but it's a couple months too late. I should've made B90X a charity event! Dammit, Dewey, where were you 2 months ago! People sponsor me, like, 10¢ per burrito I eat. Then I could donate it to charity. Or at least to pay for my doctor bills when I'm done with this.

I still love the California burrito. Well, the good ones at least. But I haven't been finding a ton of good ones lately. And it's becoming a grind finding new places every day, fitting them into my schedule, and updating this stupid blog. I think maybe 3 people read this. So if you're one of those 3, let me know. Post a comment on FB or something.

Anyway, I picked Nolberto's for today's California burrito. Chase Brockett, legendary local comic, informed me that Nolberto's isn't a real name in any language. He may be right; I think it's just another variation on the "-berto's" theme in taco shop names. I don't know why that's so popular. I probably could've done 90 "berto's" shops.

But anyway, back to Chase's assertion. I have to agree with him on the name, because their Cali burrito is not very good either. So-so carne asada, decent fries, minimal cheese, and only sour cream. I'm going to give this one a "pass."

Day 74- Bravo's

I've strolled past this place many times in OB, and for some reason it never occurred to me to see if they have a California burrito. Maybe it's the fact that it says "Bistro" in the name, or that it looks a bit too upscale to be a taco shop. Whatever the reason, the logistics of finding new places is becoming more difficult so I stopped in.


I'm glad I did. Their California burrito is on the expensive side- $7- but it's definitely worth having. Even though they only use guac, this is a really good burrito. The fries are some of the best around, and the carne asada is great. Best I've had in a while.

There are better places in OB, but if you get a California burrito here you won't be disappointed.

Day 73- Mexican Fiesta

This is a small brick shack downtown that just seems so out of place, surrounded by huge, shiny skyscrapers. I've tried to go there before, but they seem to keep odd hours. Luckily today I caught them when they're open.
The set-up is interesting. There's a tiny window that you order through, and then another tiny window that you get your food from. It almost seems like a converted crackhouse. Or maybe like the taco shop version of the house from Up. An old placed that somehow stuck around while shit was built up all around it. In fact, I would love to see Mexican Fiesta sprout 100,000 balloons and float through the city. That would be epic! In fact, they could be throwing down California burritos as they drift along, like some kind of bizarro Mardi Gras float that uses food instead of beads. Burritos and tits... not a bad idea.

Let's rein this in a bit, that was 3 crazy tangents in one paragraph. Their California burrito is cheap and fast, and it's good. But it's not as good as most I've had. Their carne asada is effing amazing, and they have really good tortillas, but the cheese is pretty light, and they serve it with just pico. If this was loaded it would be damn good, but as it is it's just OK.